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Gary G. Hoag
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”— Psalm 139:23-24
“There are aspects of detachment and refinements of interior purity and delicacy of conscience that even the majority of sincerely holy men never succeed in discovering. Even in the strictest monasteries and in places where people have seriously dedicated their lives to the search for perfection, many never come to suspect how much they are governed by unconscious forms of selfishness, how much their virtuous acts are prompted by a narrow and human self-interest. In fact, it is often precisely the rigidity and the unbending formalism of these pious men that keep them from becoming truly detached.
They have given up the pleasures and ambitions of the world, but they have acquired for themselves other pleasures and ambitions which have a higher and more subtle and more spiritual character. Sometimes they never even dream that it is possible to seek perfection with an intensity of self-conscious zeal that is itself imperfect. They too are attached to the good things of their little enclosed world.”
Thomas Merton (1915-1968) in New Seeds of Contemplation (New York: New Directions, 1979) 204-205.
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Are you attached to the good things in your little enclosed world? The God who searches you and knows you wants more for you. He wants more for me. He wants our interior purity.
Think of your heart as having chambers. If you cherish anything in there other than God, such as people, pleasures, power, and/or possessions, you practice unconscious selfishness.
You may, as Merton notes, “have given up the pleasures and ambitions of the world,” but you still have care deeply about. These cares consume you and cause you to remain imperfect.
By imperfect, I mean not according to God’s design. And related to generosity, you can’t care about the things God cares about because your own cares have filled your heart.
As you draw near to God and make Him your sole focus, notice how the Spirit reveals your selfishness, disordered attachments, and impurity. Surrender yourself to His deep cleaning this week.
Today our team facilitates Journey of Empowerment with the same 40 people from every region of Ghana. Pray for the formation of disciples of accountability and generosity.
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